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Tears of my Soul
"Tears of my Soul" tells the moving true story of Sokreaksa Himm's journey from tragedy and revenge to salvation and forgiveness.
1977 Cambodia: at the age of 13, Reaksa witnesses his entire family murdered by Khmer Rouge soldiers. After years in the "Killing Fields", Reaksa, along with his father and brothers were marched to the edge of a mass grave where they were slashed with machetes and clubbed with hoes. Minutes later Reaksa awoke in the grave, in a pile of his dead and dying relatives. He was able to climb out and hide in some nearby weeds when his captors left to round up his female relatives to complete their macabre mission. As the young boy hid in a thicket, he watched as his mother and sister, were similarly murdered. As the soldiers threw dirt on their kill, the young boy hiding nearby swore revenge.
33 people were massacred that day; 13 of which were his mother and father, brothers and sister.
Alone, hungry and scared, Reaksa made his way across the jungle, avoiding death squads by day and sleeping in trees to escape roaming tigers by night. While surviving, he planned and plotted the deaths of the men who murdered his family. Of this time in his life he says, "...I returned to the Siem Reap city to live with my aunt after the Vietnamese soldiers drove the Khmer Rouge soldiers out to the Cambodian-Thai border. I went to school, but later left to become a policeman [in Siem Reap]."
Eventually he arrived at an even greater moment of truth, finding his way to Canada and eventually coming to know Christ as his personal Lord and Savior. Through years of Bible study and communion with God, Reaksa started a new life in the west but could not release himself from the prison of hatred, anger and vengeance. Reaksa would soon find that forgiveness is truly divine and that as the years passed, his blood oath, and all-consuming ire, were in direct conflict with his new nature. In the midst of prayer he had a single moment of clarity in which he abandoned his blood oath and released his anger forever.
In the years that followed, Reaksa began a new mission: one that still included finding the men responsible for the deaths of his loved ones for a new purpose: not to seek their death, but to tell them of the life and hope that he had found. Against all odds, in a journey of faith and redemption, Reaksa defied Cambodian tradition and the advice of his closest friends embarked on a mission to reach out to those that had taken what was most precious from him.
Eventually, Reaksa discovered that only two of the six men involved in his family's deaths were still alive; seeking them out in the very village and among the very people they terrorized over two decades before. In a poignant moment of grace, Reaksa shook hands with the two men, forgave them and presented them with Khmer versions of the New Testament.
Today, Reaksa, along with his wife and two children, live and minister in Siem Reap where he builds schools and churches and trains teachers and pastors.